Ag Proud

Place aux cadeaux de la Saint-Valentin!

Sun, 01 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0500

Eh bien, ici Tim qui vous rappelle que la Saint-Valentin approche à grands pas! Si nous avons appris quelque chose des vacances, c’est que les cartes de crédit ont des limites, tout comme les pantalons de yoga.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Christmas decorations and open doors

Fri, 09 Dec 2022 00:00:00 -0500

Well, it’s the one week out of the year that the Christmas lights on my cousin’s double-wide trailer actually make sense.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: My 2022 year-end review

Fri, 25 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0500

I spent a lot of time traveling around this past year, and I need to share some of what I’ve heard and learned along the way.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Expiration date

Sat, 22 Oct 2022 13:55:09 -0400

If you’ve ever had the “soup of the day” at a restaurant, chances are you just ate food that was close to its expiration date. Just like your granny used to, soup is an easy way to use up leftovers.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Climate change

Sat, 08 Oct 2022 19:05:21 -0400

According to climate alarmists, the world will end in just a few short years. If what they say is true, then why should I continue to pay my mortgage, eat right and visit the dentist? We should all just go on permanent vacation and let the world fall apart around us.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Cowboy boots

Fri, 16 Sep 2022 14:47:09 -0400

Someone asked me, “You have cows. Why don’t you wear cowboy boots?” I replied, “The same reason I don’t wear a thong. I don’t like the wedge.”

Tim The Dairy Farmer: Talk to me

Tue, 23 Aug 2022 15:35:22 -0400

I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for telemarketers my phone would never ring. Apparently, my student loan debt is due, my Amazon account needs attention, I’m part of a class-action law suit that needs my information, and I won a cruise to the Bahamas.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Corncobs vs. Charmin

Fri, 19 Aug 2022 15:49:28 -0400

Most of us remember Mr. Whipple telling us, “Don’t squeeze the Charmin.” In recent years, Mr. Whipple has been replaced by a family of blue bears telling us how soft Charmin can be and to “Enjoy the go.”

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Big dummy

Fri, 12 Aug 2022 12:45:23 -0400

How many times have you smelled something and immediately went into panic mode? Just like Name That Tune, one whiff or hint of a smell is all you need.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Port-o-john

Wed, 20 Jul 2022 20:20:17 -0400

I was at the state fair with my cousin, and we were walking down the midway. He noticed a rather large woman eating a fried Snickers bar and said to me, “If that woman had a beard, she could be in a circus.” I just wanted to know where she got the fried Snickers.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Check-up

Thu, 30 Jun 2022 13:00:01 -0400

“An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” Where did that phrase come from? I’m guessing it was during the 1800s apple growers association’s marketing campaign.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Pump theory

Thu, 16 Jun 2022 16:17:03 -0400

They say that “shoes make the man.” My mom used to say to me, “Never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Old-timer

Tue, 24 May 2022 13:00:01 -0400

When did I turn into my grandpa? He always made grunting noises every time he got out of his chair. Now I’m doing it. How did I throw my hip out of joint during dinner? And where did this ear hair come from?

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Drink punch

Sat, 07 May 2022 13:00:01 -0400

Summer’s coming up. A lot of people are already talking about punch recipes. I always thought punch was a way of saying, “We didn’t buy the good stuff, so we’re going to cover it up with some orange juice and a floating piece of pineapple.”

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Best in show

Tue, 19 Apr 2022 13:00:01 -0400

Chances are, some of you were in 4-H or FFA. A rite of passage for both of these groups is the county fair. A chance to show the surrounding citizens your ability to grow a plant, raise an animal or make something.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Finally

Thu, 31 Mar 2022 13:00:01 -0400

I knew the persistence of the American farmer would finally pay off. Through the efforts of farmers on TikTok, Facebook and Instagram, along with lobbyists and people who consider themselves ag-tivists, we have changed the agricultural outlook.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Cow Week

Fri, 11 Mar 2022 14:00:01 -0500

I think the Discovery Channel should have a week devoted to cows. Cows need better PR people. All cows have is Chick-Fil-A and a children’s book about them jumping over the moon.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Farm questions

Fri, 25 Feb 2022 14:00:01 -0500

As farmers, we get asked questions. Here are a few questions people ask me. Some people don’t specify between me, the cows or the farm when asking questions.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Milk Zoom

Mon, 07 Feb 2022 14:00:01 -0500

It seems the world is moving to less and less human contact. Everything seems to be going to Zoom calls and text messages.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Flying cats

Tue, 18 Jan 2022 14:00:01 -0500

Back in the 1950s, airline travel was new, exciting and somewhat romantic. People dressed up in their finest clothes and smoking jackets to fly. Smoking was permitted on flights, and there was even a smoking section on the plane.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Tiger king

Fri, 31 Dec 2021 14:00:01 -0500

Well, another year in the history books. According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2022 is the Year of the Tiger. Also according to the Chinese, the tiger represents energy, strength, purposefulness and revolutionary ideas.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Christmas leftovers

Sat, 11 Dec 2021 14:00:01 -0500

One of the best parts of Christmas are the leftovers. When the gifts are opened, the guests have gone home, and it’s just you sitting in a chair in front of the refrigerator with a large spoon, eating peanut butter pie and mashed potatoes in the same bite.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Dear Santa 2021

Wed, 24 Nov 2021 14:00:01 -0500

Dear Santa, I hope all is well with you, Mrs. Claus and the elves. I know I haven’t written in a long time, but many things have changed since you were here last Christmas. I just wanted to give you a heads up.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: MooLoo?

Sun, 07 Nov 2021 14:00:01 -0500

Well, now they are potty-training cows. I learned how to do it only to prove to my mom I was smarter than my brother. That’s right, they now have developed livestock latrines – or what scientists are calling a MooLoo.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Supply management

Tue, 19 Oct 2021 13:00:01 -0400

“I’m actually smarter than you think I look.” That’s what all politicians would have you believe about themselves. Then they speak, and all hope of intelligence is lost.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Farm shows

Wed, 06 Oct 2021 18:46:59 -0400

You know you’re a farmer if your “big outing” for the year is a farm show. You might say, “Well, Tim, our big outing is the local county 4-H fair.” Is the 4-H fair really a stress-free time? Heck no.

The Milk House: Mankind on fire

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 17:24:06 -0400

Yesterday we looked into the sky. A strange haze hung in the air that smelled faintly like smoke. We turned on the news to see that it was from the wildfires burning 3,000 miles away.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Marketing ideas by Tim

Wed, 15 Sep 2021 16:30:01 -0400

I’ve often pondered on how agriculture is paired with not only feeding everyone, but how agriculture has also teamed up with other products and services that have gone mainstream.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Tough wash

Wed, 25 Aug 2021 15:39:46 -0400

My grandpa always said, “Boy, if you’re gonna be dumb, you better be tough.” I always believed my grandpa to be tough as nails, but did that mean he was dumb as a box of rocks? He definitely wasn’t a philosopher.

Tim the Dairy Farmer: Farm Raised

Fri, 06 Aug 2021 13:00:01 -0400

I have a comedy album called Farm Raised. On the album, I make fun of the way farm kids grew up. Take, for instance, my first sleepover at a friend’s house.