We had a carefully orchestrated plan for the first week of October. We had to be in Panguitch, Utah, for the National Senior Pro Rodeo Finals by Tuesday night, but we couldn’t leave until we finished pregnancy testing the cows on Monday.

Some scientists predict that within 20 years robots will have the ability to think for themselves. I know people who are freaked out by this idea, assuming the robots’ first thought will be that they could do a lot better job of running this planet than we are.

When I quit my town job to stay home and work on the ranch, one of the things I looked forward to was not having to get dressed up. Then I remembered wardrobe planning out here on the ranch is way more complicated.

In my quest for accuracy in Western storytelling, I feel it is necessary to correct one of the myths constantly foisted upon the viewing and reading public. For the record, farm animals are never grateful.

I like to call it the five-minute lie, although that’s probably a little harsh. My husband probably means it when he sticks his head in the door and says, “Hey, have you got a few minutes? I just need you to ...”

Being very small farmers, we don’t own brand-new equipment. The men of my family are good mechanics who can keep older machinery running rather than spend the total worth of every crop we’ve harvested in the past 15 years on anything straight off the assembly line.

With the cattle market looking a little shaky, we’ve decided it’s time to look for additional sources of income. After scrolling through 95 infomercial channels in search of one TV show my husband and I could agree on, I have hit on the perfect solution: a week-long, fat-blaster workout called the Hay Hauler’s Shape-Up.

This morning I ran across an advertisement for a clinic on "low-stress cattle handling." Hallelujah! Why didn't somebody think of this before? I want to enroll our entire herd, especially the yearlings.

We train rodeo horses. Therefore, we breed for speed. For ranch work, however, speed is optional, and generally hazardous to your health. We have a lot of rocks, massive badger holes, coulees, washouts and bogs, slick green grass and bottomless mud pots called soap holes – all of which are best encountered at a moderate pace.

Seems like every time I turn on the TV, some seed company or pickup manufacturer is paying tribute to the men and women of American agriculture with an advertisement that extols their virtues.