A while back, I was asked who has had the greatest influence on my life. I hadn’t ever given it much thought, like most folks, I guess. After considerin’ for a while, I came up with six people that I could say actually affected the direction of my thinkin’.

When it’s springtime in the Rockies
And my lips are turning blue I’ll be slogging through the blizzard
like a brain-dead caribou …

ATTN: This is addressed to teenagers, tuba players and grown-ups in the news media who have gotten great giggles out of the story that cow flatulence is a danger to mankind.

“So, how’d yer dad git that big dent on the door?” I asked Dave. Truth is, it was quite an accomplishment for one single dent to stand out from all the other wear and tear, deterioration and assorted damage that covered his 1983 Ford Ranger diesel pickup truck like elephant tracks on a Styrofoam cooler.

A fine-lookin’ horse you’ve got there
(if yer into modern art)

Imagine you were a livestock man in medieval England a thousand years ago. It’s early spring. Snow on the ground, mud in the cow lot. You walk the small pasture where the heavy heifers are kept. It’s hard to see much with just the moonlight. But you spot one that’s down in a swale. She’s on her side in the process of calving. One foot is showing.

Do you believe in ghosts? How ‘bout angels, miracles, tarot cards? I grew up believin’ in heaven and all its assorted angelic inhabitants and their counterparts in the singed black hats. Reincarnation wasn’t taught in Sunday school, but we were encouraged to believe that souls existed.

Catching avocado rustlers is sort of a cross among the Covid virus, wildfires, exchange students bearing addictive goodies and coon hunting.

Grandpa Tommy’s dad used to say, “A cowful is a substantial quantity.” According to my research, the rumen of a mature cow can hold up to 300 pounds. And, by anybody’s standards, that is quite a bit.