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Remember the days when humor didn’t include four-letter words or bodily functions? Those were the good old days. Red Skelton was a favorite comedian of the times. His humor was clean, lighthearted and not offensive. Here are some of his tongue-in-cheek quips for the perfect marriage:
Let me throw out some random numbers. The number 33. It represents the percentage increase of smartphone users since 2011. The number 68. It represents the percentage of adults in the U.S. who have a smartphone.
I interviewed a gentleman in Kentucky who locally marketed grass-fed Belted Galloway beef farm-to-gate, as it were. He said he set up his beef cuts at farmers market stands and food fairs but wasn’t having the success he thought he would, even though the customers clearly specified a preference for grass-fed beef. He said simply, “The general public doesn’t know how to cook lean beef.”
It’s prediction time, when ag analysts and economists will try to predict what will happen this year. So it’s a good time to remind you that they have no idea what will happen. None.
“Don’t cross your eyes. They’ll get stuck that way.” Your mother said it; my mother said it; every mother everywhere said it. The premise was that one action, repeated over time, could have dire consequences.
What lengths would you go to for a new baler? To have a little fun, I posted this question on an ag online forum. Assuming cash was not involved, and tongue-in-cheek, one Missouri producer said, “My wife, my kids and the dogs – well, maybe not the dogs.
A few weeks ago, an Ohio producer commented that this was a year like no other. He lamented that he finally took his first cutting of alfalfa July 4 and his second growth, after 30 days, was only 6 inches high and discolored.
As I drove through Yellowstone National Park, I thought, “If those folks would just put down those fishing poles and drive up the road 300 yards, they’d see a bull elk in velvet as inspiring as anything they’ve ever seen.” But they didn’t. The campers kept tossing in their fishing lines, reeling in air, completely unaware of anything not directly in front of them.
I’ve sat through some pretty inane meetings – which someone captured perfectly in a Facebook post depicting a blue ribbon inscribed with, “I survived another meeting that should have been an email.” Nearly 34,000 people “liked” this post.
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