Have you ever felt trapped in a conversation you didn’t want to be in? It could be with a used car salesman, a crazy relative or even someone you really love. Every time you think the conversation is about to end and you can make your escape, it circles back to the beginning or takes off again.
You may be able to force an end to an unpleasant conversation with someone else by walking away. As hard and uncomfortable as it may be sometimes, we do need to walk away.
But what if that conversation is with yourself? This does not mean talking to yourself out loud, but one of those conversations or trains of thought that occurs in your head. When the pressures of farm life build, personal conversations can start in our heads. Uncertainty over water curtailments, low commodity prices, high fuel prices, succession plans and family conflicts are all examples of pressures today’s farmers face.
Stress is another way of describing unpleasant self-conversations. Research shows a strong link between high stress and accidents. This happens because prolonged periods of stress reduce our ability to think clearly.
When we are not thinking clearly, we forget to follow safety protocols. I have witnessed or been involved in situations that could have resulted in the loss of a finger or hand that would not have happened if everyone involved had been well rested and not feeling rushed. When faced with stress, we may need to force a pause and step away. If we do not, stress can reduce our cognitive function to the point we can start to believe the world would be a better place without us in it.
How to step away mentally
How do you walk away to end an unpleasant or dangerous conversation when it is occurring in your head? One way to interrupt internal conversations is to take a break from your daily routine. Vacations can do wonders for morale, but respite can also be gleaned from shorter, more frequent intermissions to your daily life.
Examples of short breaks include attending an athletic event, community event or religious service. It could also be as simple as playing with your children. Suggestions for longer breaks include trips to town for dinner or a weekend away with your significant other. These all provide a break that can significantly reset our mental state.
This is when having a true “life partner” is a blessing. Opening up to them about your demons and talking through your challenges can provide needed relief. Those who have not found their life partner can still reach out to other trusted individuals. This may be a friend or family you can count on to be there for you when facing difficult times.
Most of us have these trusted individuals in our lives but may not realize who they are. They can be found at the coffee shop, church or local sports events, basically wherever people gather. A good place to find them is to go where others with similar interests gather. The opportunity to attend a commodity or farm organization meeting can be such a place.
When we attend commodity conferences and farm organization meetings, we are connecting with other individuals facing similar challenges to our own. Knowing that others are going through the same problems can give you the strength to persevere through the stress you may be facing. The burdens seem lighter when you recognize others are lifting alongside you.
Associating with other farmers helps provide opportunities to learn how others in similar circumstances have slain their dragons. Adapting their solutions to your situation can lead to a reduction in the stress you face. As we listen to others, our own innovation can be sparked to create a novel approach to deal with the issues we face.
I know in my own life that difficulties and barriers have been overcome by stepping away and looking at the situation differently. There have also been times when I was so focused on a situation where I could not see a simple solution, until my wife walked in and suggested a different approach.
Why breaks matter
In 1793, the French adopted a new 10-day week calendar system. Thirteen years later, it was abandoned. One of the reasons it was abandoned was that the common people did not like the fewer rest days with a day off only occurring once every 10 days instead of once every seven days. They found the longer week exhausting.
According to psychology professionals, taking a meaningful break will help by:
- Reducing levels of stress hormones
- Improving sleep quality
- Giving the brain time to process and reset
- Restoring emotional regulation and patience
- Reconnecting with relationships and hobbies
There are times when taking a break is not possible. Planting, harvesting and calving seasons are all times we need to buckle down and get the work done. But there are other times of the year when taking a break is what we need. It may require some creativity on your part to keep all the chores handled. You might consider covering for a neighbor or friend who can reciprocate when you need a break later. Voluntary breaks are less expensive than a forced time off because of an accident.
Please take a break and recharge the next time you find yourself facing unpleasant conversations with yourself. Your family, friends and the community need you here, even if you do not realize it.
References omitted but are available upon request by sending an email to the editor.
Lance Hansen, Bracken Henderson, Selena Davila, Tasha Howard, Kathee Tifft and Klae O’Brien (University of Idaho Extension Farm Stress Management Team) assisted with this report.
