In our old stanchion barn there was a large fan built into the wall. The blades turned quickly and the image of the calf hutches outside flickered in front of you. One of the first lessons I remember as a child was being told not to stick my hand in it.

Hollywood is a $500 billion industry that, among other things, makes a profit from combining two seemingly un-joinable things: Cowboys and Aliens. Sharknado. Beverly Hills Cop. Part of my academic research is considering farming narratives in their various forms. This led me to another odd couple: agriculture and space.

This past year, our television sets have asked us a very fundamental question: Where’s Jill? The query was posed by a concerned horse, and a quick answer was given by a white dog with a Southern accent: She was really lonely and out walking the cornfields again.

I had always considered tea an effeminate drink. I should clarify: hot tea. Surely, hard-working men would have a glass of ice tea in the summer coming in from the fields. Hot tea was, well, girly ... or worse, urban.

“God help us, we’re in the hands of engineers,” exclaims Dr. Ian Malcom, staring at the recreated dinosaurs in Jurassic Park. It turns out, Spielberg might be a prophet.

My grandfather, Dieter Kramer, had always told me: “Ryan, don’t be drinking the water beer.” Water beer was his term for any domestic lager. It was as fine a metaphor as any other for life.

One of the biggest news stories last year was undoubtedly missing Malaysian Airlines Flight 370. The Boeing 777 left Kuala Lampur International Airport on March 8 heading towards Beijing and in mid-flight disappeared from all radar systems.

This week I am going to give an academic conference-style presentation on a mutated calf fetus that mercilessly slaughters Irish people on a dairy farm.I have spent a lot of time in the university system: as a student, lecturer, researcher – and now as a student again.

The French have more style than we do. I say that in concession, the grievance not coming from American nationalism nor any bad experience as much as regret that I will never have the advantage of being French.

New Year’s Eve traditions vary all around the world, as customs are meant to encourage luck and prosperity or chase away evil spirits. In Holland, they toast with hot spiced wine. In Belgium, they exchange gifts.In Spain, they eat 12 grapes between the first and 12th stroke of midnight.