Well folks, it is that time of year. There is a chill in the air, the leaves are turning, and deer season is in full effect. So what does this all mean? It means that during our busiest time, every city dweller within 200 miles stops by to tell us how to do our jobs.

I was talking to my accountant the other day, and she said the cookie jar was almost empty. “Crumbs” in the bottom of the jar was what she should have said.Now, I never really had a plan for my “future earnings,” as they say. When asked by my accountant what I would do with my future earnings, I replied I would pay my future bills.

Recently, I performed at an annual farm-related event. Someone thought it would be a nice idea to let two politicians give their spiel before I was to speak. It was like riding my bicycle behind a manure spreader.

On my farm, the worst day of the year for milk production is the first day of summer. That’s when the cows have noticed I dragged out the old grill from the barn. Older cows know that grill stays fired up from now ’til Thanksgiving with a short spark on New Year’s and the Super Bowl.

In the last few months, I have seen newspaper articles about new technology on the farm. Frankly, I would be happier with some stronger duct tape; that hole in the slurry wagon isn’t going to fix itself. How about an electrical motor that never quits working on holidays? I know – a shovel handle that, when broken, grows back like a lizard’s tail. That would be technology.

“Ice cream should be in your life, too. What’s more, it’s not even a bad or unhealthy food,” says Dr. Oz. quoted in Time Magazine. From myself and all the other chubby farm kids: We salute you, Dr. Oz. Finally, I have someone who supports my eating habits. Who is this person who supports me? He is a doctor and a wizard.

There has been a lot of talk about the “Dairy Farm Security Act.” I for one think it is about time we focus on security – because I’m missing a lot of tools.Your first question might be, “Tim, do you own a dog?” Yes, I own a dog, but right now he is not a suspect.

Someone once asked me, “Tim, what’s the difference between a farmer and a redneck?” It’s simple: As a farmer, I have a truck parked in front of my house. A redneck has a truck parked on blocks in front of his house. If the truck on blocks is your house – you, my friend, are a hillbilly.