One of the biggest upheavals in food production in the last 10 years was the result of one of the tiniest imaginable scares. It would be comparable to one single Aborigine threatening the U.S. with a flyswatter, and our government issuing every homeowner a 50-caliber machine gun to defend themselves.

Back in the days before satellite TV, cell phones, video players, Netflix and laptops, many ranchers in the West were isolated from civilization.

Stew and I were talking about the world we grew up in. A time when family had a much greater influence on children than they do today. We grew up before cable television, texting, iTunes, unavoidable soft porn, misogynistic vulgar rap, instantaneous news, a sense of entitlement and electronic isolation. Both of our folks were Bible Belt believers and played music. I’ll let you decide whether it was better or worse; we all have our own story. But I think we’d agree it was a simpler upbringing. In both our growing-ups, cussing was not allowed. Stew was raised in the bootheel of Missouri, and his family were farmers. Grandpa was the patriarch, stern but compassionate. Grandma’s pride was her bountiful garden. She would not allow a tractor or roto-tiller in her garden for fear of oil or gas contamination of the soil.

When I’m asked where I get ideas for this column, I explain that in my travels among the agricultural masses, everyone has a story to tell … and they tell me. Almost always, they include getting bucked off, run over or humiliated in some form by large domestic mammals.

The cattle business today has evolved into several distinct segments. Each draws certain people whose personality, skill and savvy make them best suited to that segment.

The cattle business today has evolved into several distinct segments. Each draws certain people whose personality, skill and savvy make them best suited to that segment. We’ll start with the purebred breeders, the architects who design prototypes for the industry. They are academic-minded. They steep themselves in statistics, fiddle with and refine genetics in an effort to define subjective traits objectively. Not unlike ancient mariners drawing and redrawing the constellations in the night sky.

I’ve been pondering the state of veterinary medicine in the new millennium. These subjects deserve deeper thought or at least a master’s degree thesis:

Uncle Joe was makin’ his rounds this spring checking the horses and cows to make sure everything had water. When he got to the bull lot, one of his prize young Charolais bulls had managed to crawl through one of the round-bale feeders and was lying down, happily chewing his cud.

April 1, 2025 headline: Wine and cheese banned from American diets The presidentially appointed Director of Taste has declared the selling and/or dispensing of all fermented beverages derived from the fruit of the vine is to be prohibited in the U.S.

I can always count on my friends to add a new page to my scrapbook entitled “How to Mess up a Simple Calving.” This chapter would be entitled “Halter Safety.”