“Doc, I’ve got a heifer that just had a calf. She’s not accepting it very well. Can I bring her in for psycowlogical counseling?” It all started with that call from the worried cowman. My veterinary specialty of cow psycowlogy has gained popularity since my article appeared. It was titled “Paranoia in Dairy Cows”

“Say, anybody got a light? It sure is dark in hereAnd tighter’n the skin on Polish sausage.For nine long months I’ve trusted Mom, and now she’s pulled the plug.A pure and simple case of double-crossage.

It was cold this winter. How cold was it?

In my travels, I have been on lots of family farms where the whole family is involved in the work. During calving season, it is not uncommon for the “rancher” to allow his wife to take the 10 p.m. heifer check.

This is one of those stories that sound so unbelievable you’ll know I didn’t make it up. Mike studied the bloodlines. He checked performance records. He knew his herd like the top two layers of his tool box. He was a good young cattleman. When he decided on the course of action to improve his herd’s genetics, he called the breed association rep.

There’s an old saying: “A cowboy is born, not made.” However, I’d like to propose that if you’re hirin’ a cowboy to help you take care of your stock, you might look twice. You can’t necessarily assume that because he’s got a black hat and is broke, he’s a cowboy.

SWEET MEATSChocolate-covered chicken kidneys, beef liver or sliced pork tongue, expensively and individually wrapped in foil. PENCIL-THIN MEATSThe closest thing you can get to jerky and still pay fresh meat prices.

I went to America last week …the middle of America, Kansas, to a county fair. I flew into Denver and drove across miles and miles of green prairie. If America has a heart, it’s out here on the Plains. It’s not an easy place to live.

When you hear cowboys tellin’ stories, it’s common for a listener to say, “It’s a wonder you weren’t killed.”“Well, all I did was rope that sorry, no good, fightin’ bull with the crooked horn and tie him to a post in the corral, then throw another rope on him and tied it to the other side, then pulled him tight ’cause I was by myself, you know.

I have been a travelin’ man a good part of my life. Most of my speakin’ jobs are Friday and Saturday nights, so Sunday means I’m usually on the road and headed home.For me, Sunday morning on the road is a good part of bein’ me. Nine times out of 10 I’m in a rent car drivin’ to an airport where I board a flight to a major hub where I connect to another flight that gets me within an hour of bein’ home.