We would all like to think we are smart in our own right. Some of us are smarter at some things and not so smart at other things. I’m pretty good with plumbing projects, but you don’t want me to be your gastroenterologist.

Happy New Year, everybody. It’s the first day of breaking all those resolutions. Don’t feel bad; 75 percent of people break their new resolutions within the first week, and the other 25 percent of people are the reason why.

If there’s one thing I hate more than anything, it’s when people find out I am a comedian and say to me, “Tell me a joke.” No! When I meet an accountant, I don’t ask him to follow me home and file my taxes. When I meet a politician, I don’t just assume they are lying to me – at first.

Put on your favorite sweatpants or elastic polyester jumpsuit, people. It’s green bean casserole season. Thanksgiving is right around the corner. Ah, the memories that will be made. In-laws, politics, tryptophan and an electric carving knife – what could go wrong?

I was driving through the Midwest during August. Corn, corn and more corn. I turned on the radio, and there was an actual show on called Stalk Talk. What? Nothing makes driving 250 miles through corn more exciting than listening to a talk show about corn.

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.”—Socrates Confucius was a Chinese teacher and philosopher. One of his famous quotes says, “Real knowledge is to know the extent of one’s ignorance.”

Finally, one in the win column for dairy farmers. The FDA has decided to restrict products like soy, rice, almond, oats and even hemp from calling themselves milk. Hopefully soon, they’ll quit calling tofu bacon and taxes a privilege.

A dairy farmer cries fowl. This is an open letter to all my chicken farmer friends. That would be you, Kevin. I’m not saying there aren’t a lot of chicken farmers; I’m just saying I don’t have a lot of friends.

OK, class, I don’t even know how to start this one. I’ve read about a new trend that might make us some added income on the farm. You might be thinking, “Tim, I’ve already tried farm tours, baked goods and scrapping my husband’s ‘spare parts pile.’

News flash! It’s hot again today. You know what? I’ll bet you a dollar it’s gonna be hot again tomorrow. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the … all the way up to about Sept. 22.