Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little valley called Pleasant Valley. Pristine streams ran down from wooded hillsides. Wild game was abundant. Fish flourished. The peasants tilled their farms and irrigated them with mountain water. The livestock grazed the grassy meadows.

Unless you’re a tiger trimmer in Tanganyika, the tranquilizer gun has not lived up to its potential. During its preliminary promotion, it was touted as the greatest invention since the rope. But in the livestock business, it has never quite fulfilled its expectations.

Watch Baxter Black's first music video, "Is That Rural Enough For You?"

This is the time of year when cow people don’t get much sleep. If you boiled “raisin’ cattle” down to its bare bones, the whole business revolves around gettin’ a live calf on the ground.

“Oh, I’m doin’ a little day work for Irsik and ridin’ two green colts for $50 a month. I think I’ve just about sold that load of salvage lumber I traded Mr. Jolly out of. Some guy came by the other day and wants me to audition for the Marlboro Man. Said they pay pretty good even if they don’t pick me.

Gerald Two Bears was the foreman of the tribal branding crew. Lots of Indians who were cowboys came to do what they could do.

There is a state law on the books in Colorado that makes it illegal for a sheepherder to abandon his sheep without notice. A good law, really, since herders are often left alone on isolated ranges with their entrusted band. The owner or boss checks on the herder once a week or so and brings him or her supplies.

Lunatics Demand Ellen DeGeneres Remove Leather From Clothing Line! Oh, No!

Dean was in his 80s and still drove his pickup. This concerned his best friend, Jack, who questioned the wisdom of riding with him. Dean based his self-confidence on the fact that he lived in western Kansas, where you could drive from Hugoton to Bird City and never see a person wearing a suit and a tie.

Thanksgiving is a time for reflection. Warm memories, overstuffed afternoons and family. Yet rising from this cornucopia of good feelings, like a rubber chicken from a shopping cart full of cut-up fryers, is that runner-up for national bird ... the turkey.