She came up to me quietly after my presentation, looking tired and sad. “Elaine, I haven’t been off the farm in months, and I don’t know who is going to help us with seeding. I am 70, and I cannot take this anymore. My husband is very verbally abusive and won’t get help for his depression. What do I do?”

As an outsider looking in to the many farm families I am honoured to share time with, it always saddens me to see people who cannot seem to grasp happiness beyond what they do as farmers, especially when it is time to let go of controlling the decisions and let the next generation be the key decision-maker.

One snowy day at a beautiful ranch home in southern Alberta around the expansive kitchen table, the farm team said, “Elaine, you should make a list of the top phrases you use in coaching.”

As the farming population of boomers ages, so does the 80-plus crowd. These aging patriarchs and matriarchs are still ruling farms – some with a heavy hand.

Being able to talk freely with your farm team and feel they understand what you need is a huge gift. Farm families in business sometimes get stuck with problems when they get trapped in the “blame game” of blaming someone else for their problems.

Winter is a good time for farmers to sit and reflect. Now, you may argue with me that dairy farmers never get to sit for long at any time of the year, but I would like you to use some time this winter to consider how you take care of your mental health. I ponder the words in my journal as I sit in silence in my morning ritual of the “quiet chair” tucked in the windowed corner of my kitchen.

I am extremely grateful for the three neighbours who showed up with three extra combines to harvest in September; it really made a huge difference in reducing the stress on our farm. When I relayed this story to an Easterner, he said, “Wow, they still do that out there.

As the second-largest contributor to the Canadian economy in 2012, the dairy industry generated $5.92 billion in net farm receipts. Today, there are 11,962 dairy farms, and the average dairy farm has 77 cows per farm. But what are the costs involved? In today’s dairy marketplace, it is important to know the “ins and outs” of the cost of production.

When I was a very small farm girl, dressed in my homemade red velvet jumper, I looked forward to “Edie” Christmas on Boxing Day with my cousins. I recall my great-grandmother singing “Silent Night” to us in German.