My daughter had surgery on her wrist a few weeks ago. It was a simple procedure but still rendered her non-dominant hand rather useless for 10 days. This preteen child of mine comes from a long line of strong, independent women, so it didn’t surprise me much when at first, she’d turn down my offer to help with some of life’s simplest tasks.
Then, after a few days, she asked if I could help her shampoo her long, thick hair. It turns out some things are really challenging single-handed, and life became a little easier with someone’s help.
We all face challenges from time to time. Some we can see coming and can plan for ahead of time, and others are unexpected. Life is unpredictable and we can’t always know the next obstacle we will encounter.
I recently attended a panel presentation on life balance. On a sidenote, I was impressed with the number of men in the room. Typically, a breakout session like this with a female panel would draw only women. But with several men in the room, it helps us all see that the search for life balance is not gender-specific. Alright, back on topic …
Each of us are connected to family members, friends, co-workers, neighbours and community members who are willing to lend a helping hand. Even though the people around us seem busy and overwhelmed themselves, it doesn’t mean they aren’t willing to find time to help someone else in need.
At the life balance presentation, the question was posed, “Who would find time to help a friend who asked for it?” and nearly every hand in the room went up.
Sometimes the biggest challenge we must overcome is being vulnerable enough to ask for help. My team works remotely, and therefore we can’t always see or hear what each person is confronted with for the day – be it work or personal challenges. This can be similar on dairy farms where each team member has their own responsibilities, and the feeder may not be aware of what’s taking place in the calf barn, or the milkers don’t know what’s on the farm mechanic’s to-do list.
Since May is Mental Health Awareness month and a particularly busy month on the farm as fieldwork is starting up again, I encourage you to take a moment to check in with the people around you to ask how they are doing. Don’t accept “fine” for an answer. Ask more questions: What is it they are working on? How are their family members? What are they up to these days? Could you use help with something?
Then for those of us more – ahem – stubborn individuals, don’t be afraid to accept help when offered. Help can come in many ways. It doesn’t mean you’ll have to relinquish a responsibility you enjoy doing forever, but maybe a little respite from it would be good. There’s a chance it won’t get done the same way you would have done it, but maybe just having it done is more important than how it gets done. Perhaps you are hurrying to get something done to meet an arbitrary deadline, but maybe you can be granted extra time.
This month, let’s recognize the importance of mental health and ease stress by offering and/or accepting a little help.
