My mental health is directly tied to my animals. If my cows are anxious, then I am anxious. If my cows are unsettled, then I am unsettled. If my cows are content, then I am content. I, of all people, should understand the role of an emotional support animal, but there are some things I just don’t get.

The dam breaching seems to be a solution desperately searching for a problem. Over the past 20 years, the federal government has spent $17 billion on hatcheries and fish ladders to improve salmon runs.

If mankind’s survival relies on me eating insects, let me be the first to say … it’s been a good run, would the last human turn out the lights, and better luck to the chimpanzees or whoever takes our place at the top of the food chain.

Every time I worry about the robots taking over, I will ask Alexa to play my favorite radio station, and my little entertainment robot will instead play Radio Iran … in Farsi. I will chuckle to myself and breathe a sigh of relief. We’re not that close to the technological singularity.

“Are you growing a beard?” is a question I get a lot this time of year.