A – is for appetite. Or lack of. Sometimes what is eaten is chosen because it is the least hassle option. Then you try something new and it’s wonderful. So you stock up on it. One more meal and your appetite says you’re tired of it.
B – is for boisterous boys. That proves they’re healthy.
C – is for cherish. Yeah, those moments forever frozen in your memory of the happy times spent with the one your whole world revolved around.
D – is for darned. Not darning socks because now you can get away with just pitching them when they’re worn out. It’s darned if you do and darned if you don’t. They’re worried because you’re always home. So you take an unannounced road trip. Now they’re worried about maybe you need a “keeper."
Also, for dew. It’s still nice to have just the right dew float in as you’re baling hay.
E – is for energy. That you used to have.
F – is for flirting. As long as you remain polite and respectful, you can flirt with the cute young lady taking your money at the store or standing in line next to you without being rudely informed about a boyfriend that may or may not exist.
G – is for the ground. It’s farther away than it used to be, so do whatever it takes to avoid landing on it. Sometimes just watching where your big feet are landing is enough.
H – is for happy. No change here. You were always responsible for your own happiness.
I – is for intellect. Being able to outsmart the world so you can still function – maybe not with the ease of youth, but by being “crafty,” most activities are still possible.
J – is for johnsongrass. Grandpa told Dad you could pull it up, roots and all, shake the dirt out of the roots, hang it in a fence for two years, then burn it and bury the ashes – and it would grow!
K – is for kinfolk. With age, you realize that some people you’re not related to treat you like family, and you return the favor.
L – is for lunatic. The older I get, the thicker the lunatics seem.
M – is for meter. Specifically, a meter internal with your intellect that shows you when the salesman, politician or even family members’ dialogue reeks of that which the bull has just deposited on the ground.
N – is for neutral. Neutral is where you need to stand when close to a disagreement until the above meter makes an accurate reading for you.
O – is for ornery. This is how you’re described as being when all you’re doing is waiting again, for the above meter to help you make up your mind. Or when you refuse to take a side you’re sure isn’t correct.
P – is for perspective. When you are driving uphill on a snow-covered road – and all your instruments show that you are proceeding uphill at 35 miles per hour – and you glance out your windows and notice pine trees passing you on both sides – then you need to find a different perspective for deciding what you are really doing.
Q – is for question. Oftentimes a question is the best and quickest way to make a needed point. I once saw my wife, as someone was repeating some foul bit of gossip, butt in and say, “And you know this how?”
R – is for robust. Or reliable. Or reliably robust. As opposed to today's "better think this over before committing."
S – is for safe. Safe is how those who care for you want you to be. Quell your obstinate, independent self long enough to realize they are truly concerned and not trying to dictate to you.
T – is for trucks. Specifically, the hay trucks that I no longer own or am responsible for. And yet I’m still having the occasional dream about getting that one last load of hay delivered. With a good old truck retrieved from a decrepit retirement, though still operable and trustworthy. But with neither license nor insurance. The dream usually ends with me coming around the last corner before being done – only to find a new weigh station in front of me. That’s when I wake up sweating, look around and realize where I am, slap myself and repeat that I don’t have a hay truck, then sleep peacefully the rest of the night.
U – is for unruly. Which I’m accused of being, in the same breath with act my age. (I dunno how to act my age. I’ve never been this old before.)
V – is for victory. Which I have achieved each morning that I wake up. Sometimes that’s the high point of the day, but still.
W – is for water. I used to get thirsty when I needed water. Now when I start feeling like crud, I try to remember how long it’s been since I had a drink of water.
X – is for X-ray, which I hope I don’t need more of.
Y – is for youth. It’s strange that the memories of vehicles, history and people that are so vivid to me are seen as old history today.
Z – is for zoomies. What kittens, cats and toddlers show up inflicted with 10 minutes before bedtime.
