Two employees are having a conversation about work, and one mentions that they heard that a co-worker of theirs is having marriage problems. A lengthy conversation, based mostly on unfounded information, ensues. One of those employees then tells the rest of the employees about all the personal struggles their co-worker is experiencing. No one speaks with their co-worker about these so-called “marital issues.”
This employee’s issues become a daily topic of discussion, which includes speculation about the cause of their problems, who is more at fault, how one of their children is struggling at school, why one of the couple went away on their own for the weekend, and a host of other comments that paint this employee – and their family – as close to separation.
Gossip about this employee continues for many days, and eventually, that employee hears about all the comments that have been made about them. This fully disgusted employee goes to the owner and turns in their two-week notice. The owner is distraught because this employee is their best and most reliable worker, and they ask them to explain their reason for needing to leave on such short notice. The employee shares the gossip about them with the owner, who then asks if any of it is true.
“None of it is!” was the reply, and the employee then explained what was really going on in their family: One of their children has been quite ill and needs to get treatment at a specialized medical facility that is several hours away. The treatments occur every weekend, and she and her husband take turns driving their son to this facility, spending two days there and getting home in time for everyone to be back for their regular weekly routines. It will take three months of this routine to complete his treatments.
She further explained to the owner, “It is a personal issue that our family is going through. We have good support from our family and friends, and my husband and I decided it was best to keep it private and not talk about it at work. We didn’t want it to be a distraction to our responsibilities, nor to any of our co-workers. I guess we made the right decision. Imagine how much gossip there would be about my son and his condition! Everyone here chose to spread misinformation and outright lies rather than simply talking to me directly. I don’t need this in my life right now. I can find much better people to work with.”
Though this may seem like an extreme situation, it is more common than it should be. Replace this family’s medical situation with an employee who supposedly said something inappropriate, a worker allegedly making a big mistake, two employees who are said to be involved outside of work – all of it based on hearsay – and you have delightful grist for the gossip mill to anyone who will listen.
Gossip in the workplace has ruined relationships between co-workers, motivated high-quality employees to change jobs and even caused rifts between family members. And all of it is based on speculative comments and exaggerations by those who prefer spreading inaccuracies rather than getting the facts.
Eliminating gossip
Because these challenges are becoming more common in the workplace, many companies are including “no gossip” policies in their employee handbooks. These policies need to provide a clear definition of what is considered to be gossip in your workplace, the types of conversations that are not considered gossip, how gossip will be addressed when it is discovered and the consequences for not modifying this behavior.
A basic definition of gossip is when anyone says something about another person, especially something negative, without that person being a part of the conversation. Positive comments are not gossip. These compliments should be encouraged and shared with everyone for maximum benefit.
For clarity, gossip isn’t the general banter heard among employees, such as the teasing that a truck driver gets for not closing a gate, or the razzing a new headgate operator gets for letting a steer slip by. These comments, when done with a tone of camaraderie and jovialness, can actually build teamwork and like-minded appreciation for the difficulty of the job. There is no damage done when the teasing is evenly shared among the group, it isn’t personal and no individuals are considered immune from the friendly banter.
Nor is it considered gossip if two managers are talking about the struggles an employee is having – if they intend to help that person with their challenges. A manager can talk to one of their employees about an issue with another employee – if they intend to get accurate information to help that other employee improve their performance. Two co-workers can share an issue or frustration about another employee, but they need to do it in a manner that is focused on resolving the issue and does not share that information with other employees.
A strategy to eliminate gossip
- Realize this will take time. Talk to your key people to emphasize your reasoning for this policy and get their buy-in.
- Create a clear definition for gossip in your operation.
- Make certain that you and your key people set a good example.
- Communicate your policy on gossip, and allow the staff to get accustomed to this aspect of developing your desired culture.
- Encourage employees to talk positively about co-workers and to walk away if others start to gossip.
- Help employees realize that their “friends” in the company who tend toward regular gossip are probably using them to spread negative information about the people they don’t like in the company. They achieve their objectives at the expense of others.
- A person who is gossiping to you is also probably gossiping about you to others. Avoid them.
- Reduce any covert, veiled sarcasm. If you hear these remarks, ask the person to clarify what they said and what they really meant by it.
- When a pattern of gossip is identified, use coaching rather than discipline to modify their behavior and reinforce your positive culture.
In most operations, when you make a clear change in policy concerning attitudes and behaviors, expect a bit of turnover. Some can’t or won’t change, and you won’t miss them. You will also realize an improvement in employee satisfaction and an increase in people who want to work for you. Emotionally mature, positive-minded employees will like this policy. It will eventually become one of the best parts of your “brand” in your neighborhood and the industry.
Remember this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”
