Cowboy garb, when executed properly (emphasis on “properly” – you can spot a poseur a mile away), is an unquestionably awesome uniform, right up there with firefighters and the Pittsburgh Steelers. I love a good set of pearl snaps and a broken-in pair of boots. And you’ll never feel cooler than when you find the perfect eagle or pheasant feather to tuck in the band of a hat that keeps its perfect shape.
Looking the part of a professional cowboy or cowboy professional when I’m in the presence of such dignitaries as deserve the cleaned-up version of me is important. But I’m going to be honest here: Most days, I’m most comfortable in a good T-shirt and baseball cap. Now, I know this take may give some of you cause to point at me and say, “You ain’t no cowboy.” Maybe you’re right, and that’s OK. I can take the heat – especially if I’m comfortably clad in my favorite T-shirt.
Just as there are quality cattle and junk cattle of every breed and in every clime, there are quality T-shirts and junk T-shirts. The fabric might be too stiff and not breathable enough. The cut may accentuate the gut I’m still trying to deny exists. There may not be an acceptable middle ground between L and XL. I may be a slob, but I’m a bit choosy in my slobbishness.
Alas, as has been established in this space before, I am also exceedingly cheap and therefore can’t seem to make myself pay more than $7 or $8 on one. I mean, seriously … it’s a stinkin’ T-shirt. My attitude would probably be the same no matter how many commas were in my bank account. As you’ve surely already surmised, this somewhat conflicted fashion philosophy severely limits the depth and variety of my attire.
Fortunately, I’ve found that if you make enough rounds of bull sales, local feed stores and ag industry trade shows, and if you keep your cheapness antennae primed and in the “on” position, there is ample opportunity for even the biggest of tightwads to construct an acceptable collection of T-shirts and ball caps. I’d like to thank AgRisk Advisors and LivestockMarket.com, New Holland and Rozol, Flying E Ranch and the Idaho Potato Commission, Leachman Cattle and Redd Summit Advisors, Barber Ranch and Caviness Beef Packers for imbuing my personal wardrobe with comfort and class at minimal (read: zero) cost to me.
So what’s my point? It’s this: Keeping up appearances is for the birds. You might not have the fanciest trailer, the shiniest facilities or the most impressive papers on your horses. Maybe some of that needs to change; maybe it doesn’t. Nobody has all the answers, but for the most part, I’m betting you know what works best for you, your family and your ranch. I’m definitely not saying that applying my characteristic cheapness is the answer to every question. You’ve gotta make some investments to make it in the cattle business. What I am saying is that investing in looking cool or impressing the neighbors is probably not a wise move. You know what your resources are and the vision you have for your outfit.
Own it. Stand up for it.
And if you’re looking for something nice to wear, I heard there’s a yard sale down the road with 50-cent tuxedo T-shirts.
