In this article, I would like to highlight and appreciate fathers. My hope is not only to show respect for the many amazing dads out there but also to bring awareness to what I believe is one of the most important leadership roles on this planet.
There are several reasons why I believe the role of father is such an important leadership position. The first is simple but significant: When a man becomes a father, he instantly becomes the only biological father that child will ever have. I fully recognize there are many incredible stepdads, mentors, coaches, teachers and friends who step into fatherlike roles and positively influence young people. Their impact is valuable and should absolutely be recognized. Still, every child has only one biological father, and that role carries tremendous responsibility.
Being a father is not a leadership position that should be taken lightly by the father, the mother or the child. Unfortunately, our culture often minimizes the value of fathers instead of elevating it. Many television shows portray dads as clueless, immature or unnecessary. When children repeatedly see fathers treated that way, they can begin to believe that this behavior is normal or acceptable. Even worse, some young men may grow up assuming that this is what fatherhood is supposed to look like.
The truth is that there are many wonderful fathers doing extraordinary things for their children every single day. At the same time, there are also far too many children growing up without a father actively involved in their lives. Research consistently shows disturbing patterns connected to fatherlessness. Here are just a few:
- By age 18, fatherless boys face sharp mental health and behavior gaps, including four-times higher odds of substance abuse and four-times higher odds of violent crime arrests.
- 85% of runaways and 70% of homeless children come from fatherless homes.
- 72% of murderers come from fatherless homes.
- Fatherless children are 50% more likely to divorce as adults.
Fathers are crucial leaders whether they fully realize it or not. The kind of father a man chooses to become has a profound impact not only on his children but also on future generations. Teachers today are often overwhelmed by behavioral and emotional struggles in young people who are missing the stability and guidance a father can provide. Our judicial systems are filled with young people trying to navigate life without the support, discipline and protection that fathers are designed to offer.
The bottom line is simple: Fathers are incredibly important.
The responsibilities connected to fatherhood are significant, but so are the opportunities. Being a dad is not always easy. One difficult responsibility fathers carry is discipline. While discipline can feel uncomfortable, children need healthy boundaries and guidance. If parents fail to teach children that actions have consequences, eventually the world will teach them in much harsher ways. Many of the negative statistics connected to fatherlessness are examples of what can happen when that leadership role is absent or neglected.
I am not minimizing the incredibly important role that mothers play, especially those who courageously raise children without a father involved. Mothers and fathers are uniquely designed, and children benefit greatly when both parents are committed to loving, guiding and supporting them.
It is interesting that in today’s world we need permits, licenses and training to drive vehicles, build homes or operate businesses. Yet for one of the most important leadership roles a person may ever have – being a parent – no training or preparation is required.
Most of our understanding of what a father should be comes from observing our own dads. That means children who grow up without a father are often left without a healthy example to follow when they eventually become parents themselves. The cycle can continue unless someone intentionally steps in to change it.
While this reality can sound discouraging, there are still things we can do. We can become more aware of the children around us who may not have strong father figures in their lives. We can choose to invest in them, encourage them and help guide them in positive ways.
We can also intentionally acknowledge and appreciate the dads who are trying their best. Recently, Pam and I took our grandchildren out for ice cream. A young family was there riding bikes together, with the children sitting in carts behind the parents’ bicycles. When it was time to leave, one of the children became upset. The father looked at me and said, “I don’t understand, we always try to do fun things.” I thanked him for what he was doing and encouraged him by saying that even if his children do not fully appreciate it today, one day he will see the rewards.
Thankfully, I was blessed with a great dad. Still, when it came time for me to become a father myself, I did not assume I already knew everything I needed to know. I began reading books and studying fatherhood intentionally. Today, an entire shelf in my library is dedicated to becoming a better husband and father.
Dads, you are significant, valuable and desperately needed. I believe in you.
