I’m guessing that many of you never even noticed the title of this regular column, “The courage to evolve.” There was actually a great deal of thought and reflection that went into choosing those words. In this column, I would like to explain why that title matters and how it applies directly to you and your future.
To evolve means to develop gradually or to change over time. If we look back through old photographs of ourselves – from infancy through adulthood – we can easily see that change has already taken place. We may laugh at hairstyles from decades past or notice how much we resemble our parents. Change is obvious when we look at our physical appearance.
Whether we like it or not, much of how we look can be traced back to the generations before us. Most of us have heard someone say, “You look just like your dad,” or “You have your mother’s smile.” For the most part, we accept those traits as part of who we are. Unlike cosmetic surgery in Hollywood, most of us do not spend much time trying to rewrite our genetic story.
But there are many other areas of our lives that are constantly changing, and unlike our physical appearance, we have far more influence over them.
You have likely heard the statement that we are a product of our environment. You may also have heard that we are the result of our habits or that we become the average of the people we spend the most time with. There is significant evidence to support each of these claims. Environment shapes perspective. Habits shape outcomes. Relationships shape identity.
At first glance, those statements can feel limiting. If environment, habits and relationships largely determine who we become, it might appear that our future is already set in motion. After all, none of us chose the circumstances into which we were born. Some were raised in stable, opportunity-rich communities. Others began life in far more difficult situations. Physical surroundings, family culture, expectations and beliefs all begin shaping us long before we are old enough to evaluate them.
Habits are powerful as well. Many of our patterns – how we respond to stress, how we handle money, how we communicate – were learned early in life. Often, we adopt these behaviors without ever questioning whether they serve us well. Over time, those habits quietly influence the direction of our lives.
Then there are the people around us. Some relationships are built into our lives from birth. Others come through school, work, church or community involvement. Sometimes it feels as though even the people surrounding us were chosen for us. If all of these forces are shaping us, what control do we really have?
This is where the word “courage” becomes essential.
It is true we are born into specific environments, but there comes a point when we gain the ability to evaluate them. We may not control where we started, but we can influence where we go. We can decide which environments we continue to participate in and which ones we step away from. We can choose whether the beliefs we inherited still deserve a place in our future.
You have probably also heard another powerful statement: We are the result of our choices. Read that again. That truth outweighs the more passive explanations of our development. Environment, habits and relationships influence us, but choices define us.
Yes, many of our habits were formed early. But habits can be changed. Yes, many of the people in our lives were placed there by circumstance. But we can intentionally add mentors, coaches and friends who stretch and challenge us. We can decide whose words we allow to shape our thinking and whose voices we respectfully set aside.
Our lives are evolving whether we are intentional or not. Change is happening every day. The question is whether we will let that change occur on autopilot or whether we will guide it with purpose. We are who we are today largely because of the choices we have made up to this point. That same principle will shape who we become tomorrow.
Every single person, regardless of current circumstances, has the capacity to make different choices that alter the course of their future. Change is rarely easy. Growth often requires discomfort. Evolving may mean breaking old patterns, distancing ourselves from limiting influences or confronting beliefs that no longer serve us. That is why courage is required.
The courage to evolve is not loud or dramatic. It is often quiet and steady. It shows up in small daily decisions that align with a better future. With courage, determination and the willingness to choose intentionally, something better is always possible.
