I ate a lot of fries in my childhood, but only because I ate a lot of hamburgers. With the occasional freemartin or low producer to butcher, we seemed to have an endless supply of beef patties. For my mother, it was quick to throw them in the oven, and from what I remember, she did that four or five times a week. It sounds like the dream diet for a child, except that there’s a difference in taste between burgers and fries that are baked as opposed to deep fried. The oven was a healthier way to live, but I’ll admit to being jealous of all the grease I imagined dripping down the faces of town kids with their fried dinners.
A poll by YouGov ranked french fries as the most popular food in America (cheeseburgers and hamburgers are third and fourth, respectively). The side is liked by 87% of Americans, while only disliked by 3%. (Probably the only other hot dish that could compete with those numbers is Dolly Parton, but that’s another column.) In total, the average American consumes between 17 and 30 pounds of french fries per year, depending on who you ask. Between its compatibility with popular mains like burgers or wings and the ubiquitous presence of fast food chains, the fry reigns supreme in the American diet.
As the adage goes, “If it tastes good, spit it out, because it’s not good for you.” The problem is, the french fry is a difficult vice to stay away from, ranking sixth on the Yale Food Addiction Scale among all grub tested. The high fat and salt content produces dopamine in our brains that keeps us coming back for more. While there’s centers and interventions for those on heroin, each man faces his fry dependence alone.
One option in front of us is to maintain a sensibly balanced diet and only consume french fries sparingly. Fortunately, the University of Illinois has come up with an alternative.
In a typical deep fryer, pores are created and left open in the potato, which eventually creates a negative pressure that draws oil in. However, researchers have developed a “microwave frying” technique with a special device that heats the fry from the inside out and creates positive pressure, resisting more of the oil absorption but still creating a crispy texture. It is believed this technology, which can be inserted into existing frying systems in chain restaurants, can reduce the fat content of fries by approximately 20%. Maybe not revolutionary, but a step forward for humanity nonetheless.
It should be noted that even if the french fry is the number one food in the U.S., America is not number one in eating them. Belgium is when it comes to fried food culture, and it takes the fry in particular seriously. Sold in a shop called a frietkot (Dutch) or frituur (Flemish), Belgian fries are double-fried and often eaten as a whole meal. Still, while certainly recognized as the spiritual center of the french fry, Belgium remains in a heated dispute over who first invented the phenomenon that we dip in ketchup (or mayonnaise, in my case). The Belgians claim that potatoes were deep fried as early as the 17th century as a substitute for fish when the rivers froze over, while the French say it was a 19th century Parisian dish created by a Bavarian musician. (Considering that France already gets enough food culture attention, I’m inclined to score it for the Belgians.)
I live in Ireland now, and in much the same way the french fry is to the Belgians, so is the potato to the Irish. (The last time I ate in a nice seafood restaurant the waiter still set down a bowl of potatoes, just for the sake of it.) They eat a lot of fries – “chips” – as they call them, but they’re not the same. They tend to be thicker and too soft. In short, I can taste the potato in them, which is something I never want to experience when eating fries. Fatty, salty, crispy – it’s a simple path to victory. When I try to explain this to an Irish person, I get mockingly told that not everything needs to be deep fried to oblivion. In the case of the french fry, I fear the Irish’s love for the raw product has blinded them.
Alas, the fact that my wife won’t let me keep a deep fryer in the house is proof that most childhood dreams are destined to die. We do have an air fryer, and the fries are notably better than those from the oven. Still, they’re no 6 on the Yale Scale. While I do appreciate her looking out for my health and do understand that only one of us is willing to live in a dwelling that smells like oil, I still dream of having to wipe the grease off of a big smile.
