Stress is a constant in farming. Machinery breaks down, weather disrupts your plans, and tensions with partners or employees flare up. These challenges aren’t anomalies; they’re woven into the fabric of the life you’ve chosen. But the real question is: Who are you in these moments?
How you respond to stress defines you. It shapes your leadership, relationships and, ultimately, your business’ success. The way you handle pressure doesn’t just affect your decisions – it affects everyone around you. Your employees, partners and family feel the ripple effects of your reactions, for better or worse.
The danger of cognitive distortions
Have you ever reacted to a situation with frustration, anger or resignation, only to look back later and realize you overreacted? This happens when your thoughts are influenced by what psychologists call cognitive distortions (See list below). These are automatic, unhelpful ways of thinking that warp reality and cloud your judgment.
Think of cognitive distortions like trying to drive drunk. You are operating under the influence of a skewed mindset, and your decisions become reckless or impaired. Even if you don’t crash, the people around you feel the consequences.
These distortions show up in moments of stress, influencing your thoughts, decisions and reactions. Recognizing them is the first step to regaining clarity.
Entitlement: The hidden damage
Now let’s talk about entitlement – not the kind associated with laziness or arrogance, but the entitlement that creeps in when you assume your partner, employees or family will “just deal” with how you handle stress.
How many times have you snapped at someone during a rough day or withdrawn because you were too overwhelmed to talk? Maybe you justified it with, “They know how hard I’m working – they’ll understand.”
Here’s the truth: Expecting others to tolerate your behavior without accountability is a form of entitlement. It takes their loyalty and patience for granted. Over time, this entitlement erodes trust. Employees begin doing only the bare minimum, and partners start to feel unsupported.
Simon Sinek said, “When people feel safe in their environment, they thrive. When they don’t, they protect themselves instead of the team.”
Entitlement creates an unsafe environment. It pushes people into survival mode, where they stop collaborating and start protecting themselves. And when that happens, it doesn’t matter how hard you’re working – trust and morale have already taken a hit. If your partners are afraid to approach you about a decision because they are afraid you’ll get angry, it’s more likely that the decision won’t be handled properly and negatively impact profitability.
Ask yourself: "Am I creating an environment where people feel safe and valued, or am I expecting them to simply tolerate my stress without considering the cost?"
Believe it or not, fixing this problem has a significant impact on year-end profitability. We aren’t just talking a few thousand; we are talking about percentage points of improvement in the farm’s return on assets. Making decision-making safer because your cognitive distortions aren’t a liability has a very significant impact on your family’s business culture and skyrockets farm profit in a profound way.
Identity: Shaping who you are in hard moments
Your identity as a leader is built in the hardest moments. James Clear reminds us in Atomic Habits that “every action you take is a vote for the person you want to become.”
Every time you lose your temper or let stress take the reins, that’s a vote for a version of yourself you may not want to be. But every time you catch yourself, pause and respond with patience, that’s a vote for the person you aspire to be.
This isn’t just about improving your behavior for others; it’s about creating a ripple effect. When you handle stress with clarity and self-control, you set a standard. Employees feel safe and respected, partners trust your leadership and decisions are made collaboratively, not emotionally.
And that ripple effect? It transforms your business, improves relationships, drives better decisions and ultimately impacts profitability.
Reflection: Recognizing the impact
Here’s the challenge I want to leave you with today: Think about a moment in the past six months when you weren’t the ideal partner, leader or employer. Maybe stress got the better of you. Maybe you let one of those cognitive distortions influence how you reacted.
- What happened?
- How did your reaction impact your partner, employees or business?
Be honest with yourself. Acknowledging these moments isn’t about blame – it is about taking responsibility. It’s like the first step for an alcoholic recognizing they have a problem. Until you admit where you’ve fallen short, it’s impossible to change.
The first step to real change
Everyone has cognitive distortions that get the best of them. But the good news is, these patterns aren’t permanent. Recognizing them is the first and most powerful step to moving past them and becoming the kind of partner, leader and person others want to work with – not just tolerate.
Take time today to reflect on how your behavior may have impacted others. Write down that one moment where you let stress or a cognitive distortion take control. By sunset, ask yourself: What can I do differently next time to ensure I’m not part of the problem?
Everyone has a couple of cognitive distortions that hold them back from being an ideal partner. Make it your New Year’s resolution to turn this weakness into a core strength.
Because when you commit to mastering your inner game, you set the standard for a thriving business, better relationships and a legacy built on trust and respect.
Who you are in your weakest moments defines who you are as a partner and your farm’s future.
Examples of common cognitive distortions
- All-or-nothing thinking. Viewing situations in black-and-white terms.
- Catastrophizing. Always expecting the worst-case scenario.
- Personalization. Blaming yourself for things out of your control.
- Mind reading. Assuming you know what others are thinking.
- Overgeneralization. Seeing one bad experience as part of a never-ending pattern.
- Filtering. Focusing only on the negatives while ignoring positives.
- Emotional reasoning. Believing your emotions reflect the truth.
- “Should” statements. Placing rigid expectations on yourself or others.
- Magnification. Blowing problems out of proportion.
- Minimization. Downplaying successes or positives.
- Labeling. Assigning negative labels to yourself or others.
- Jumping to conclusions. Making assumptions without evidence.
- Discounting the positive. Ignoring achievements or compliments.
- Blaming. Holding others responsible for things within your control.
- Fallacy of fairness. Believing life should always be fair.
- Heaven’s reward fallacy. Thinking hard work should always lead to reward.
