Editor’s note: The following blog is reprinted with permission from dairy blogger Krista Stauffer. Follow more of her dairy marriage advice at her blog.

On most Friday nights, many people I know are off for the weekend. There are family gatherings, family outings and dates with their significant other. As a new farm wife, I caught on quickly that dates when you are the wife of a farmer are much different than dinner and going to the latest movie.

It was hard for me at first because I wanted to be wined and dined – minus the wine and fancy dinner. If that makes any sense.

I quickly found out that if I wanted to “date” my farmer, I would have to change my idea of what consisted as a date. Even more so, I would have to give up the idea that the man should be responsible for initiating or planning the date. Now, this isn’t because he doesn’t want to or that he doesn’t have the capability of being romantic. It is simply because farmers just do not have much time.

I decided to create a list for those who might be having the same struggles as I have (and sometimes still do). Here are five things that qualify as a “date” because, after all, it really isn’t what you are doing as much as who you are doing it with.


1. Get up in that tractor (or chopper) and take a ride . Who needs to drive down an old dirt road when you can drive around in circles, and get some work done in the process, all while spending time with the one you love most?

2. Don’t be afraid to get a little dirty . Yes, being all dolled up is nice, but some of the best memories you will make are the ones that involve a little bit of mud and manure.

3. Take interest in your farmer’s interests . If their passion is cows, then you should do your best to like cows too. (Liking cows is a horrible example – because how could anyone not like cows?) Whatever their interests are, do your best to be interested too. Then the possibilities are endless. Milking cows together, going to the livestock sale together, etc. Yes, those are all dates.

4. Work alongside them . When your day is done, look around at the amazing life you have together. You are blessed. Then spray the other person with a hose, throw hay at them and just have fun.

5. Bring them food when they are out working . A coffee in the morning, a sandwich for lunch, a warm meal for dinner or fast food when you are on your way home from work. Pick up a candy bar at the store and bring it to the field.

Just bring them food. You say that is not dating? It is when you are with a farmer. You cannot leave the field to go eat, so you bring the food to the field. It’s a date. Just go with it. If you need more romance, bring a picnic basket and a blanket.

I know what you are thinking: I have lost my ever-loving mind. These are not dates. How could they be dates? But to me, they are. When my husband works 40 hours by midweek, when he gets in at midnight, when equipment breaks or the weather is not cooperating.

I take these little moments, these moments of spending time together, and chalk them up to a date. After all, isn’t a date just to spend time with someone you care about? Life is what you make of it, and so are dates.

P.S.: Flirt; flirt a lot. PD

  • Krista Stauffer

  • Dairy Producer
  • Washington