Twas’ the first day of Christmas,
and all through the house,
My wife, she was stirring,
in a seasonal blouse.

Veterinarian / Blogger
Jake Geis is a veterinarian and blogger in Freeman, South Dakota.

She was tasked to make dinner
for the family and all,
But alas, she felt flustered
because she was also on call.

The ham was snuggled
under a blanket of bread,
And making sugar plum pudding
was on the list in her head.
But being a vet, if a cow did fall ill,
She must whisk out the door,
leaving dinner to chill.

So she hoped against hope
she could finish her things,
But it was a false hope
because her cellphone did ring.
A Holstein cow, at a quaint local dairy,
Was looking real sick,
and the farmer was wary.

She sighed, “I must go,”
with a crack in her voice,
“This cow needs tending,
and I haven’t a choice.”
I held up my hand and said,
“Don’t worry dear,”
“I’ll go see the cow
and you can stay right here.”


She protested a bit
and said it was her job.
I dismissed her concerns
with a wink and a nod.
“I’m also a vet, and can fix any cow,
But making a pie,
I sure don’t know how.”

I hopped in my truck
to brave winter snow,
To mend this sick bovine, away I did go.
On pickup, on vet box,
on bottles of Draxxin,
I hope I remembered
to put my surgery packs in.

During my drive I hoped
with a smile,
That this call would be fast
and not a take a while.
I didn’t want to miss
that great dinner at home.
I nervously called the farmer
up on the phone.

He told me the cow was inside the barn,
And to my relief, his tale wasn’t a yarn.
The downside was
this cow felt quite poor,
Without surgery, she would knock
on death’s door.

So I grabbed all my stuff
and scrubbed her up clean,
And began the fastest surgery
you’ve ever seen.
I did my well best,
I will have you know,
But thoughts of plum pudding
made me want to go.

The cow made it through
and was now on the mend,
So I packed up and called home
as I rounded the bend.
It sounded like I would make it in time;
I’d pull in the driveway
when dinner was prime.

As the food hit the table,
I walked through the door,
My worries for starvation
were entertained no more.
We feasted on sweet potatoes,
pudding and ham.
We laughed, shared gifts
and hung out with the fam.

So if you’re on call
when there’s cooking to do,
Your best situation is
to be one vet of two.
And to folks who tend cows
on these cold winter nights,
Merry Christmas to all,
and I hope your cows feel all right.