It is almost Christmas again. I’m sure throughout the past weeks your mailboxes have been full of Christmas cards.
Some of those cards may even contain letters from your friends and family updating you on the highlights from their year. I started wondering what my Christmas letter would look like this year. It probably will be mostly about my cows and all the great things we did, but then I wondered: What would a letter from the cows look like?
This is how I pictured it:
Dear humans,
We hope you are having a good holiday season. Last year on New Year’s Eve, our plans to get to New York City were canceled because someone chained the gate twice that night. We didn’t get to see the Times Square ball drop, but Bingo knocked down a fan from scratching her head too hard on it. We watched it drop to the ground and shatter; we agreed this was much more exciting.
In the spring, we waited patiently for the lady to put us out to pasture. She knows this is our favorite part of the year, and still she takes forever to do it. We tried to send her signals by hitting her with our tails when she walked by us. We are still working on the language barrier with her. It seemed to anger her instead of reminding her of when she puts us out how our tails shoot straight up in the air as we run. On April 2, she finally opened the gates and let us run. We believe our signal may have worked; we will try again next year and report back.
Right before summer, a group of people bought us jewelry and put it around our necks. They said it would help the lady see if we were healthy. They also said these necklaces were indestructible – we took that as a challenge. Macy tried to rip hers off by slipping it under the headlocks. Ryder tried to bash hers against a wall. Jelly just shook her head for days. (We are not sure what her plan was). In the end, they were wrong, and we broke a few. It was fun.
In the fall, the greatest thing happened. The man added candy to our food. It was a delicious surprise. The humans called it licorice and seemed happy that we enjoyed eating it. Little do they know, if they stop giving us candy, we will go on strike.
Now it is Christmastime and the barn is tightly shut to keep us warm. We are snuggled in to our warm beds with our bellies full of candy. It was a nice quiet year, but we enjoyed our small moments of excitement. We hope that your year was as splendid as ours.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year,
The Cows
I hope that everyone enjoys the holiday season. Remember to give your cows big hugs for all the hard work they do – they deserve it. Spend some time reflecting on your year and especially spend some time with your family. Get some rest and enjoy a good meal! Best wishes for a profitable year in 2016. PD
-
Kelli Woodring
- Dairy Producer
- Shippensburg, Pennsylvania
